under their thin veil of ash
Amurg De Toamnă
Din vârf de munţi amurgul suflă
cu buze roşii
în spuza unor nori
şi-atâta
jăraticul ascuns
sub valul lor subţire de cenuşă.
O rază
ce vine goană din apus
şi-adună aripile şi se lasă tremurând
pe-o frunză:
dar prea e grea povara -
şi frunza cade.
O, sufletul!
Să mi-l ascund mai bine-n piept
şi mai adânc,
să nu-l ajungă nici o rază de lumină:
s-ar prăbuşi.
E toamnă.
Lucian Blaga
Autumn Dusk
From the mountain peaks red-lipped dusk
breathes
on a heap of clouds
and such
embers hidden
under their thin veil of ash.
A ray, a
rush, arrives from the west
to fold its wings and alight -- trembling --
on a leaf:
then the burden is too much--
the leaf falls.
O, the soul!
I must hide it better in my breast
and more deeply,
that no ray of light might touch it:
it would flutter down.
Autumn now.
(My translation, with gratitude to Roxana)
.
6 comments:
:-)
:-))
for the sake of exactity: the Romanian text is written without diacritics, or, more precisely, only some of them are present. The correct version should be:
Din vârf de munţi amurgul suflă
cu buze roşii
în spuza unor nori
şi-atâta
jăraticul ascuns
sub valul lor subţire de cenuşă.
O rază
ce vine goană din apus
şi-adună aripile şi se lasă tremurând
pe-o frunză:
dar prea e grea povara -
şi frunza cade.
O, sufletul!
Să mi-l ascund mai bine-n piept
şi mai adânc,
să nu-l ajungă nici o rază de lumină:
s-ar prăbuşi.
E toamnă.
It also looks prettier, don't you think? :-)
Roxana: Thank you. I knew the marks were not right, but this was the version I found online, and I certainly did not trust myself to try and fix them. Of course, I should have asked you.
Yes, it is much prettier this way :-)
Oh, btw, I have replaced the version on the front page with this one.
Oh, wow, this is beautiful. I love this poem! Really, I wouldn't have chosen it for translation, as it seems a bit difficult, but you've done it quite amazingly.
Now, not because I am an expert or anything, but only trying to participate in the experience. I hope you don't mind. One word looks problematic to me. I do not have an actual book in front of me to verify the poem in Romanian, but it looks like "atâta" probably is actually "aţâţă" (rouses), which gives the stanza a more clear meaning.
As in:
"Din vârf de munţi amurgul suflă
cu buze roşii
în spuza unor nori
şi-aţâţă
jăraticul ascuns
sub valul lor subţire de cenuşă."
becomes:
"From the mountain peaks red-lipped dusk
breathes
on a heap of clouds
and rouses
embers hidden
under their thin veil of ash."
I might not be right though. Translations are such fun though. And I am so impressed with your work.
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